This is a true account. A friend of mine penned down her feelings towards the first man she loves, from the time when they met to when she could not pull herself out.

All names have been changed to protect the identities of the people involved.


First Love

5 April

e folks at my office, esp Ivan n Yutaka n Yutakaís fam, r trying their v best 2 bring Raymond n me 2gether. Cos Raymond is 25% chinese n he only goes 4 chinese gals, they r tryin 2 do tis. Raymond x-gfs r all chinese n he juz brke off w hs gf. N I dun hv a bf so Yutaka n Ivan tinks tat we r a gd match. Dun knw hw tat 2 silly boys got tis silly idea. N recently they did smetng really silly.

Both of thm passed me Raymondís no. N whn I challenged Yutaka 2 call Raymond 2 prove tat the no is hs, Yutaka called hm n made me tok 2 hm. Paiseh. At tat time Raymond was hvng dinner w hs frens. Cld hear hs other frens teasing hm. Nw everytime Raymond c me he will ask me ĎDo u wan 2 follow me 2 e toilet?í. He always tease me.

Once whn i ret Raymondís call, Felix pick e phone n ask me if I like Raymond. Felix ask if Iím Raymondís gf.

Since they gve Raymond 2 me, I shld accept hm, as part of curtsy ma. Tnk I will play along w em instd of avdng. n Yutaka alwz say ĎRaymond is urs, oth gals dun dare tchí.


Raymond hs a gf n cn still ask me go toilet w hm. He hs gf n cn still flirt w me. So must ask Justin 2 catch hm 4 being unfaithful! :)

I m puzzled 2. I m also puzzled why ivan n yutaka pass me raymondís no whn he hs a gf. I m also puzzled why he treats me so well whn he has a gf. I m also puzzled why I gt teased whn he hs a gf. Mayb they got 2gether again. Mayb the earlier brkup was much earlier. I juz found out yest whn he mentioned her. I m puzzled n wld like 2 knw e ans 2. :)


If I hd grwn 2 like Raymond then i m being stupid rite? i knw it is a game but I smehw like hm. I m stupid rite? I had treated hm like a brother fr e start n made tis clear 2 hm. He also says he values me as a sis. But smehw along e way I liked hm.


Did sme soul searching, I think I have fallen in LOVE with RAYMOND! But dun worrie. I am REALISTIC. I m contented 2 love him secretly n give hm all the support , care n concern he needs, without hm ever knwing. My only wish is 4 hm 2 invite me 2 hs wedding, when he marries. Cos tis wld mean tat he treats me as a cloze frnd. Raymond will never get to knw tat I an lian hm. U knw, we r abit closer nw, n I m hapie w the way tings r. to love sme1 is 2 c hm happy.


Raymond Mah is like a riddle - hard 2 crack yet interesting n fun. Raymond Mah is like mimosa - lkng at hm, uíll find hm nice, frenly, cute, cheeky, fun lovng n cheerful. Bt if u get closer 2 him, u will fnd hm a sensitive persn who is sensitive n insecure abt hs feelings. On e outside he lks like e sunshine boy bt inside heís shy. Raymond Mah is my life buoy, one tat i rely on 4 emotional support. He is e spark in my life. Raymondís tat impt 2 me.

Raymond Mah is e 1st guy i gave my heart 2. He is e first person who gave me joy n pain. Heís special 2 me cos, after going so much pain bícos of him, my love 4 hm never faded. Instead, it strengthened. I m thankful 2 Yutaka who made our meeting in life possible, who made me experience my first love. Heís no passerby in my life, heís here 2 stay. I love Raymond Mah very much, n nothing can change that. :)

I love u, Raymond Mah. I love u very much. Raymond, I love u so much that ur mood affects mine. When u r happy, my spirits r lifted. When u r down or feeling lonely, I feel down 2. Raymond, I love u so much tat even if I were 2 hv a bf 1 dae, my love 4 him wun b as great as my luv 4 u. Even if I marry another man, I wun stop loving u n neither will I ever 4get u. e reason is tat I love u 2 much. Raymond, in my heart, u r my evrything. Without u, Iíll b in pain.

Raymond is very important 2 me. Even after he marries, altho I wun b waiting or pining 4 hm, I will still love hm. But it will b a luv tat will be secretly locked in my heart. U will never knw tat I love u, Raymond Mah. I knw myself tat even if i try my best 2 change e love 2 bro-sis love, it will nt be changed completely.

Raymond Mah, 2dae, 20 Jun, is exactly 3 mths since we knew each other. But, Raymond Mah, in juz 3 mths, u have changed my life 4eva. :)